Dear Friends,
Now that we have a baby named Grant at home, my wife was trying to encourage Bennett, our two-year-old to treat his brother gently because he’s much smaller. “What are some of the things your little brother can’t do that you can do?” she asked. I think she imagined he would say something like “he can’t stand up like me.” Instead, Bennett responded, “Grant can’t play with my toys.”
Like most toddlers, “MINE!” is one of Bennett’s favorite words. Recently, I mentioned to Liz Bard, the Museum’s Education Coordinator how Bennett seemed incapable of sharing with his younger brother. Liz acknowledged that sharing isn’t an innate skill. We want very young children to develop attachments, she explained but almost at the same time, we want them to interrupt those attachments they’re developing by sharing.
When they’re toddlers, maybe we shouldn’t worry about whether they’re sharing. On the wall of the Shinnecock Reservation’s Wuneechanunk Preschool – where Museum educators present weekly programming – the teachers have humorously celebrated their children’s developing sense of self with a poster entitled “The Toddler’s Rules of Possession.” You may have seen these rules in your own child’s nursery school.
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.
6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.
To encourage Bennett to share, Liz suggested that instead of just telling him to do it, I should model the behavior through play. If you’ve used play to help your child learn to share, I would love to hear your experience. Feel free to e-mail me directly or share your story on our Facebook or Twitter feeds.
Sincerely,
Steve