Every October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month is observed to shed light on an issue that affects our community in a staggering way—almost 75% of Americans personally know someone who is or has been abused. One long-time partner of the Museum, The Retreat, has worked to address this issue by providing safety, shelter and support for victims of domestic abuse. We recently spoke with Loretta Davis, the Retreat’s Executive Director, about the organization’s founding, their clients, and working with the Children’s Museum.
Can you tell us a little bit about the history of the Retreat?
The Retreat is going to be 30 years old next year. In 1987, a couple of women here said we need a place where people can go who are in abusive relationships. They went to the Rotary Club East Hampton and they gave us $10K and that’s how it started. The town got involved and they ended up building the shelter which has 18 beds. Originally, we were renting it from them, but we were able to buy it a year ago due to the generosity of a philanthropic family. The community has been very generous. The Retreat began as a scrappy and grassroots agency. I hope we’re still scrappy because that helps. We have 40 full time and 15 part time employees.
Typically, who stays at the Retreat?
Our clients are from from all income levels. For the most part, our clients they come from Suffolk County but we also provide shelter and services to victims from Nassau County, New York City and occasionally from other states. We serve men, women, and children.
Last year, we provided shelter for 149 individuals…more than half of them were children under the age of 10. We get 3 or 4 , sometimes 5 children in a family. The adult may call on the hotline, but that adult has a family. The kids go to the local school. They’re incorporated right into the school program. In the summer, we get scholarships from Sportime and the YMCA. There’s a lot of community support.
And pets are just as much as part of the family…the Southampton Animal Shelter will take the pet for the duration of the family’s stay free of charge. The clients can visit their pets while the clients are at the shelter for a 3 month stay, which can be longer than that under special circumstances.
The shelter is really only part of what we do. We serve hundreds of nonresidential clients for counseling and legal advocacy services All are services are confidential and free. Our hotline is bilingual 24 hours a day.
What’s something people might not know about the Retreat?
We work with fathers too. In the fall of 2015, we received a federal grant for a program we have called the Fatherhood Initiative. It’s a prevention program for fathers who are at a heightened risked of abusing: just getting out of prison, addiction issues, unemployed or homeless. To qualify, you have to be a father, you do not have to be married, and you have to be someone with no history of abuse. We teach them parenting skills, partnership skills and we work with them on job development. Many fathers who have participated in the past are now mentors. To me, that’s the best testament to the success of the program.
The Retreat and the Children’s Museum have worked together in the past. How was the partnership benefited your organization?
We’ve had a really great alliance. The Museum has so much to offer. As soon as I got here, the Board told me to visit. Shortly after that, Steve Long called me and talked about how the Museum had been the great location for our Hope Heals program, a financial empowerment program (now called Take Charge). A wonderful part of the program is that while parents are learning in CMEE classrooms, their kids are exploring the Museum supervised by the knowledgeable Museum staff. Our shelter kids had the place all to themselves. That was the real gift.
And now CMEE has arranged to offer supervised visitation. The Museum is a relatively close location for our clients as opposed to Ronkonkoma, the location where they would otherwise have to go. It’s a warm environment. It’s a safe environment. It is wonderful to have that opportunity here.