376 Bridgehampton/Sag Harbor Turnpike, P.O. Box 316, Bridgehampton, NY 11932

631-537-8250

May 2017 – Letter From The President

Dear friend,

Before coming to work this morning, my three-year-old son, Bennett asked if I wanted to watch a puppet show. Who could pass up such an offer!? “Of course,” I said as I helped him set up his puppet theater on a low table. He placed a chair behind the table and then pulled over a basket containing his puppets. Grant, his one-year-old brother observed the preparations keenly.

Digging through the basket, Bennett found two puppets that he carefully placed on each hand. As he began his performance, Grant crawled to the basket and started pulling out other puppets. Bennett tried shooing Grant away while continuing the show. Eventually, Grant crawled next to the chair and sat down. After a minute or so, when Bennett stood up to retrieve another puppet, Grant grabbed the chair and began pushing it across the floor. It happened so quickly that Bennett didn’t realize his chair was missing until Grant had moved it to the other side of the room.

The chair theft brought the puppet show to an abrupt conclusion. Bennett rushed off to sit in the chair, preventing Grant from moving it any farther. Not being able to budge the chair aggravated Grant who yelled at his brother. Bennett wouldn’t be moved and angrily responded that the chair belonged to him. Both tried claiming sole possession of the chair. I laughed so hard watching this interaction, I could barely move. I also realized an answer to the paradox, “What happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force?” They fight.

In his book, The Sibling Effect, Jeffrey Kluger reports that siblings between the ages of 2 and 4 fight an average of 6.3 times per hour or once every 9 ½ minutes. They typically fight about possessions, just like Grant, Bennett and the chair.

If the research suggests that my sons will probably have over 30,000 fights during the next couple of years, no wonder parents tell me their children fight all the time. How can we referee all those disputes? According to Kluger, we shouldn’t bother. While it’s natural for parents to play peacemaker, he suggests we let our children work out their differences on their own unless the altercation gets out of hand. Fortunately for me, Bennett and Grant have always been able to settle things amicably.

I’d love to hear what you do when your kids can’t get along. Feel free to share your stories on our Facebook feed or e-mail me directly.

Sincerely,

Steve

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